A Fitting End
by OnemoreSquall
Summary: With the end of the battle with the sorceress, everyone faces their biggest challenge yet...living. please rr
1. Coming Home After a Long Battle

Title : A Most Fitting End  
Author : OneMoreSquall  
Disclaimer : Square owns  
Note : enjoy  
Chapter 1 : Coming Home After a Long Battle  
  
"Do you remember the way the sky looked on the first time we danced like this?"  
  
Rinoa looked up at Squall, surprised to hear something this sentimental coming from him. But she did remember, she could still see the way the moon looked just before the sky was filled with fireworks. The colour of it, the clouds, everything.   
  
"I remember the moon..." She began.  
  
"...just before the fireworks." He finished for her. She looked up at him quickly, looking into his eyes, searching for confirmation that he knew exactly what she was thinking "That colour, whenever I think of it, it reminds me of you. It reminds me of the way that you felt in my arms that night."  
  
"I see that colour every time I look in your eyes, Squall. Its the perfect shade of blue, its the shade of your life. Its a royal colour, tinged with sadness, and pain, but always with a glimmer of hope..."  
  
" That glimmer of hope, it was only your reflection."  
  
With those words spoken, the young couple let the silence of nature fill the old stone balcony, and they slowly swayed in time to the music that they alone could ever hear.   
  
Above them, the moon shone on with its own loving glow, casting its faint light across the world below it. The moon took particular care to illuminate the scene where it saw two young adults share a perfect moment. The whole world, the worlds beyond and before, even time itself, stopped to let those two enjoy that single moment for the rest of their lives.  
****************************  
  
The party had gone long into the night, and rightfully so, for they had finished their mission. SeeD's mission. Each man who sat around the table had done his part, perhaps done everything that he would be called upon to do in his life. At this moment, though, none of that mattered, for now it was just 3 men who had walked into certain suicide, bravely fought and won, then clawed their way back through hell and into the light of this world. Each man could look into the eyes of either of the other ones, and see someone willing to take that journey with him, someone willing to lay down their life for his. There was nothing more comfortable, than being one another's brother in arms.  
  
But, being manly, none of them would admit to this comfort, the safety that they all felt. instead, as the glasses were emptied and refilled, and the hours grew smaller and smaller, talk turned to the ladies that had helped them through the ordeal, more liberal, less arrogant minds would even say, the ladies who had been integral to the destruction of the sorceress, but nobody was around to correct them, as all the ladies had retired to bed much earlier.(being women of course, cough cough) Each had found himself someone that they could protect and provide for, someone who could both need and be needed, and be shorter than they all were.   
"Squall, man, when did you...know...ya know...with Rinoa...?" Irvine posed the question to his normally silent commander, confident that the serious man had drunk enough.  
  
"Simple my good man, simple. It was...in the thing...the you know...uhhhh...void..." Squall managed to let this out, looking both content and precariously seated on his chair.  
  
"that's it...?"  
  
"Well...you guys had all managed to escape...I got lost on the way...my fault though! I was doubting you guys...and I wound up on this place...there I was surrounded by miles and miles of...*belch*...sand, and so I started walking, and I walked. eventually I got to the end...of the sand...and then I was with Rinoa. She came back for me...and I started to fall off the side of the sand stuff, and I reached out for her hand...she reached out for mine...I looked her in the eyes, and she in mine...I saw her trying as hard to reach my hand as I was trying to reach for hers...and I knew that I found the person who was as committed to me, as I could be to them...and I thought that if I could never leave somebody, then she...could never leave me. simple. that, and she's hot, man." It was a long speech, but by the end of it, Squall was on his feet, making vague gestures, and sloshing his beer all about him, but he was on a roll.   
  
"fucking eh to that my good man, fucking eh!" Zell noisily hoisted his beer in a drunken salute to the commitment of Squall and Rinoa.  
  
"fucking eh." Irvine repeated, mimicking Zell's salute.  
  
"And what about you guys...wha da ya got?" Squall asked to either, finally sitting down again. He reached into the cooler, pulled out more beer, and casted blizzard on them in an effort to cool them down.   
  
"It started when I first met you guys at galbadia garden" Irvine started before Zell could  
  
"No it didn't." Zell started immediately.  
  
"Fine, it was on the train out into Deling"  
  
"No, it wasn't."  
  
"OKAY SO IT WASN'T, SHUT UP AND LET ME TELL THE FUCKING STORY!!"  
  
"fine."  
  
"So, It was just after we busted into the padno…padnoril…pandox…pandoloons…you understand me…thing…anyways…so we're about to follow You guys, when Selphie grabs the back of my coat, and pulls me back towards her. And…get this...she says to me…you listening…and I quote…"Irvine, I've loved you since the day I saw you…I don't think that I could possibly face what's coming without showing you how much I love you first"…so I'm like score…and…"  
  
"That's not what she said! She said, "hey, I ain't gonna die before I try this once, you're not perfect, but you'll have to do." Or at least that's how I remember it…" Zell said calmly and knowingly.  
  
"Zell, how do you know this??" Squall had some doubts, and some concerns.  
  
"He walked in on us." There was shame written across Irvine's face.   
  
"Zell, Irvine, you guys are embarrassing friends."  
  
"Indeed, but unlike the CHICKENWUSS, at least I got some…." Irvine issued a challenge to Zell, then sat back smugly knowing that his opponent had nothing to say to it.   
  
"I got some today, from that librarian, the one with the pigtails. HA!"  
  
"Really….some what, hot dogs?"   
  
Zell hung his head in shame, and admitted. " Yes, but they were good."  
  
At this comment, Squall decide to pack it in for the night. He stood up, which was not the easiest for him, and steadying himself on the table, he looked at his companions, said his farewells, then staggered off towards his dorm.   
  
The garden was always a peaceful place at night. It was even quieter now, without the garden faculty members who used to stand guard along the passageways, there was nobody on the main circle. Squall could walk from the ballroom to the dorms at his own pace, stare up at the great galls windows that were set in the Garden's domed roof, and enjoy for one last time, the magnificence of the moon as it stood its careful watch over the sleeping part of the world.   
He arrived at last at the end of his journey, and slumped up against the wall outside his door for a moment before going in. He had beaten Ultimecia, the sorceress was safely under his guard now, and all he was left to watch out for was Rinoa…his…Rinoa. He liked the sound of that. As he turned to walk into his room, he wondered out loud, just to himself…  
  
"Maybe I should ask Rinoa if she would marry me…!?"  
  
As he walked through the door, he met the gaze of another pair of eyes that were as surprised to hear him say that, as he was to see those eyes in his room.  
*****************************  
NOTE! From the author: I hope you enjoyed this, I'll prolly make more, read and leave suggestions in your reviews, it won't be too unhappy, cuz I'm in a good mood. YAY : ) 


	2. Dude, what did I miss?

The woman sitting on Squall's bed stood, and walked past the drunk man, her moonlit eyes downcast, and dewy tears already forming on her pale cheek. She turned to look at him for a brief moment, then walked from the room, looking as if she had lost everything she had had just been ripped from her by her greatest enemy. In her mind, she just had.  
  
The one thing that had kept her going through the ordeal they had just faced, was Squall; her only hope had been that Rinoa was just a passing fancy, one that would be abandoned for a better person once the stress cleared. It turns out that Rinoa was no passing fancy, and the woman herself was the worse person.   
  
*************  
  
Morning came out strong, the sun shone bright, the birds chirped and the chocobos squawked; fish in the sea swam and the caterchipillars oozed. All was right with the world.   
  
Except for three young SeeDs, fresh from fighting the greatest menace that any one of them could possibly ever imagine having to fight. The light cracked through the windows in each of their dorms, and shattered their vision, the chirping birds were like a pounding annoyance, and the chocobos were worse. The fish didn't bother them so much, but thoughts of caterchipillars led to queasyness and uneasiness.   
  
Squall felt particularily awful. His mouth was full of fuzz, and his uniform was covered in the dirt off his floor. The quiet man couldn't remember much of the night before, but he surmised that he fell from his bed sometime in the night, being that he woke on the floor. As Squall struggled to his feet, flashes of the night before slowly drifted back to him: drinking to much, dancing with Rinoa, kissing Rinoa under the moonlight, talking with the lads, and something else. He remember someone being in his room last night, but who or why escaped him. He wanted to ponder the thought, but his insane thirst led him from his dorm to the bathroom down the overly-bright and loud halls.   
Squall almost lunged for the tap when he finally got into the bathroom, earning stares from all the younger students, but he didn't pay them any heed. Just one more mystery about myself, squall decided. It came to him at this moment that Squall did sort of like to be the mysterious guy with the dark expression and dark clothes. People didn't like to interact with those people, and Squall wasn't a huge fan of interacting with other people. Seemed to be a good deal for everyone.   
  
Once Squall felt that he had created enough mystique for himself, he finished up, and made for his dorm again. It was a groggy distance, and the water had quenched his thirst, but was beginning to roil is his belly. Through his bleary, tired eyes, Squall saw Quistis in front of him; she was coming out of her own dorm. He looked at her, she at him, then the blonde woman abruptly turned around, and darted back into her own room.   
  
"...Whatever." Squall couldn't try to think about what that was about, so he left it. Maybe it was Quistis in his room, who knows?   
  
"Uh...umm...Squall?" He felt a nervous tap on his shoulder, and wheeled around to look at Selphie, who seemed altogether too perky, yet at the same time, rather pensive.   
  
"...yeah?"   
  
"It's about last night...I'm just going to apologize for what I did. I don't want to hurt you or Rinoa, so please let's just forget it happened?" Slephie said meekly.   
  
"... ......" Squall just looked at her, completely in the dark about what she was saying to him.  
  
"you don't know what I'm talking about?" The girl said, visibly releieved. "Then nothing happened! Tee-hee!" And with that, Selphie skipped off down the hall, only pausing for a moment to fall over, then get up again and continue skipping.   
  
"...what?" Squall couldn't even manage the ever."This is turning out like that stupid movie, what was it called...oh yeah: Dude, Where's my Chocobo?. Well, it couldn't get worse."  
  
Finally, Squall managed to make it back to his dorm, opened the door, and found Rinoa sitting on his bed.  
  
"Rinoa! How glad I am to see you! These people are too hard to deal with...and too loud..."  
  
"Shut up, Squall. I found what happened last night, you stupid, selfish prick. Did you think I wouldn't have found out...I HATE YOU!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't pretend you don't know, I heard everything, from that woman herself! You have some nerve. Was I not good enough for you? Don't answer that! I gave you everything I can, I loved you with all my heart, and trusted you with my very self! I was even thinking about giving you my body! Not just thinking, I was willing, and you screwed it all up!I loved you and this is how you return that love!! I hope someone freezes your little dick!" Tears were welling up in Rinoa's eyes, and her shoulders were starting to heave.   
  
"Uhhn?" Squall had no words left. What the heck had he done last night?  
  
Rinoa stood up, squared off in fron of him, screamed "I never want to see your again!", casted blizzard on his genitals, then stormed off in a cloud of coldness. Squall just dropped to his knees, clutched his nuts, and completely missed the coy grin that shot across Rinoa's face just before she got to the door.   
  
The cloud of pain, confusion and queasy swept up Squall, rolled him around, and pitched him headfirst back into unconsciousness. What was going on?  
  
*********************  
  
"That was perfect!" One woman said to the other that she was standing with. "Are you ready for the next part?"  
  
"Most definitely!" Both cracked toothy grins that were not just slighty evil, but almost hilariously evil. And both thought, at the same time: This is going to be great! 


	3. Tears and Hate

"No one really knows the ones they love, if you knew everything they thought about you, you wish they'd just shut up" - Modest Mouse  
  
The oppressive clouds laid heavy across the Balamb landscape, each dark shape sat in a seemingly unmoving manner over the indiglo Garden. Squall Leonheart, its young commander, was in a mood almost as gloomy as the weather, having in the last few days, not only saved the world, became at peace with himself, then did some things he has no recollection of ever doing. Everything that he had accomplished, not accomplished, but everything he had done, in the last couple of months, was wrecked and ruined, and lay about his feet in shattered ruins. The only person he ever loved enough for him to trust that person to never leave, had just left. The people around him were looking at him wierd, the respect he had was all gone : in short, life in Garden was turning back into hell. It had been almost two days since Squall woke up that horrible morning, Rinoa hadn't said any more than three words to him, and all of them were monosyllabic four letter words that he couldn't stand to hear coming from her. Squall had only seen quistis once, she was avoiding him like he had herpes, and Selphie just laughed nervously whenever he had to talk to her. Even Irvine and Zell weren't talking to him anymore, not a word. Squall even saw Zell leave the hotdog line to try and avoid him. There was not a soul left that Squall could talk to, he had been abandoned to the enemy by his brothers-in-arms, rejected by those close to him, and Rinoa had left him. She hurt the most, though, because he still saw her everyday, as if her presence was there just to mock him; at least when sis left, Squall could never see her again, and she still wanted to see him. He could almost imagine hating Rinoa, something that he could never had thought before, it was getting to be a cold existence. ]  
  
"Why the fuck am I still here for? They've abandoned me, why shouldn't I return them the same favour, stupid jerks." The inner monologue was back. Squall couldn't stop it. "I wonder if anyone would try to find me...NO! nobody would, they hate you! I'm gone!"  
  
One last thing to do...  
  
****************  
  
"Rinoa Heartilly, report to the Commander's Office immediately "  
  
...  
  
Squall paced back and forth in Cid's old office, alone, pent up. When they had returned the Garden to Balamb, Squall had shut down the motor system, leaving the Garden in its former home. The landscape was relaxing, familiar and reassuring, as much as Garden was home, it wasn't the same without the panoramic view of the plains, the sea and the ocean, it never felt right. What good is a home if it could be gone by the time you came back? The moment at hand was different though, the placid lanscape was being ravaged by an unseen storm: rain pelting out of the clouds, lightning renting the sky, and its thunder pounding in the ears. The wind was blowing off the ocean, and howled in anguish as it raced through the plains and battered itself against the mountains in the North. The world was heaving, trying to knock the frail Garden off its back as a horse would a fly. This was the only reassuring fact to Squall: at least he wasn't the only one suffering.  
  
...  
  
"Yes." Rinoa answered dryly.  
  
"I just wanted to say some things to you." Squall said, hating what he was about to do.  
  
"What."  
  
"I just wanted to tell you that I think you are a clingy bitch, and if I had the chance again, I would have left you frozen at the Sorceress Memorial. You've been toying with me ever since we met, and I hate you for it" Squall knew that particular statement of his careful speech was a complete lie, but he decide to throw it in for effect. and guilt. " I put the world in danger, so that I could be with you, but I realize that was a mistake now, and I am paying for it. I'm leaving, and I hope I never have to see you before I die." Then he walked out of the room, brushing past her coldly, forcing every ounce of his will to prevent him from looking at the woman he loved one last time.  
  
He had a car at the entrance, waiting for him, all he had to do now was make it out.  
  
*************  
  
Rinoa stood dumbfounded as Squall walked out, neither her legs nor her arms would move even an inch to stop him. She listened to his steps as they left the room, crossed the small lobby and stepped into the open elevator. He never talked to much, but to simplify her like that, why? How could he do it?  
  
She knew it was her fault.  
  
The raven-haired beauty slowly dropped to her knees, and soft sobs shook her shoulders. It was no use to go after him now, he was already gone. She figured it was a bad move from the start, but she loved mischief. Now he had left...tears began to form on her pale cheek, each drop of sadness rolling down her face, and fell to her black pants. Her love for Squall swelling up inside her heart, fuelling the tears even more. She wanted him back already.  
  
"I can't just sit here, I have to follow him!" She sobbed, and ran from his office as fast as her shaking legs could carry her.  
  
***************  
  
It was hotdog time.  
  
Zell was ready for it, he loved the hotdogs. he was always first one in line, and dinner today would be no different. It was all about the hotdogs.  
  
"Zell..." Somebody cried out behind him  
  
The blonde man span on his heels just in time to catch Rinoa as she threw herself at him. A little surprising, he though to himself, but understandable: the chicks dig the Zellster. He grabbed her and helped her to her feet, but she couldn't stand she was crying so hard. Tears were raining down her cheeks, her shoulders were racked with every gasping sob; her eyes were red and desperate, and she was out of breath.  
  
"It's Squall, he...just left..." that was all she managed to get out before she fainted. 


	4. The Flower

the night was deep and wide, stretching from the horizon to wherever it went. It's sounds stupid, but who notices how far the dark really goes. How far could a man walk into that good night before it ended? How long would it be before the cool moonlight breeze would make the make wish to lie down and sink into the comfortable cold? Squall didn't know, but he could only hope that it could be far enough for him to forget Rinoa; forget their love, their memories.  
  
Memories...maybe the GF's could help him fight himself, as well. They robbed him of his childhood already, why not take his only love?  
  
He had left the car in balamb and taken the train to timber. He set off on foot from there, not knowing which way to go, or which way he would go. Three days through the wilderness, creeping like a ghost through the forest as old as time. Squall loved that forest, it was easy to forget yourself in the brooks, boughs and amongst the beasts. He knew, looking into the very heart of nature's vitality, that his life was as inconsequential as the next, and that any problem he would ever encounter wouldn't change that forest in the slightest way.  
Passing under branch and hopping the scattered streams, trekking across the land... Every step he took, he left something behind, and he could feel it going. His soul, his being, everything he had become since becoming a SeeD laid out behind him like footstep leading to oblivion. Each indentation so desolate it could make a man weep to see them. With each step he dreamed of Rinoa.  
  
In a big country, dreams stay with you like a lover's voice from the mountainside. That was what Squall learned as he listened to Rinoa's voice drifted across, as the quiet wind, that lonely land. It was excruciating.  
  
It's odd to contemplate the things that can destroy a person in a moment. It would be easy to imagine that a human being could be ripped apart by nothing short of the apocalypse itself, but, it would be harder to imagine that a person walking out of a door could be the cause of very much trouble at all. To Rinoa, it was everything. She had hopped in the garden car with Zell, sped to balamb, but Squall had been there and left. It was then off to Dollet, but he was gone from there to. The two of them searched the town from end to end, and found hide nor hair of the identifiably scarred man. Someone had seen him leaving town, but they didn't see which way he went. By the time they finished the investigation, Squall could have been anywhere, by train by car, it was impossible to tell.  
Rinoa had to face it, Squall was gone, and only he would be able to return to her. She had to accept that, but she couldn't do it without a stiff drink. To the inn it was.  
  
It was always dark in Dollet Inn, your standard dank hole, the kind of place that people who wanted to forget would go, and Rinoa was the epitome of the person who wanted to forget. Drink after drink, down the hatch, till she couldn't' t see straight. Then she saw the picture on the wall; a flower, so blue with tinges of white around the petals. Delicate, even if it was a picture.  
  
"The ice flower." The bartender had caught her staring, and decided to fill her in." It's said to grow in the forest just past Timber. They say if you look at while loving and thinking about a your lover, you'll have best luck forever, and a love so true, well, it'll be true.you know." The bartender couldn't finish the statement off, he was too masculine.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Squall saw the flower. He wasn't normally inclined to stop and look at such things, but this one was so fragile, he just had to observe it. It was a deep royal blue, with a touch of a white trim around the edges of it, jus enough to be noticeable. It looked fragile, and he felt an urge to protect it, save it from the harm that he knew it would suffer if anyone less ethical than himself would inflict upon it if they found it. He knew that feeling.  
  
It was the same feeling he felt when he looked at Rinoa. He didn't stop though; as much as he wanted to, he just pressed on, ignoring the sentimentality that he felt, and kept stepping on to the place he thought that he belonged.nowhere. 


	5. Every Me and Every You

"these vacant hands. wanted only to hold you. your tired soul. unfolding from the inside out. you opened up your heart. and let it go. consumed with all the drama. and it shows. still taking a lifetime. isn't it funny. how much we learn about ourselves. when it rains. it pours. and i hear breathing is involuntary. so someone keep reminding me. follow. i let you down. make a wish"- Red Animal War, 'Backbreaker'  
  
After days Squall made it through the wilderness and he entered back into civilisation on the outskirts of Timber. A creepy feeling, like he was being followed so close that he could feel his pursuant's breath on the back of his neck, came over him. It was Rinoa, to him, she existed in every sight in that town, every moment he was there, he could feel her there too. It was almost comforting.   
  
Through the streets, past the train station, down the road and down a flight of stairs, then, his salvation. The pub was just opening for the day, and Squall had a thirst he couldn't seem to quench. Maybe a drink or two...  
  
Four days, almost a lifetime.   
  
How many more?  
  
In his mind, playing over and over again...  
  
"...Clingy bitch,... if I had the chance again, I would have left you frozen at the Sorceress Memorial...I hate you..."  
  
It was he who had done wrong, he had done something with someone, and brought this upon himself. When had he become that man? When did he become the man who would throw dirt in the face of everything that was right with his life.   
  
[I fucking hate this...I hate myself for it...why did I do that to her?...what did I do?...]  
  
[Rinoa...]  
  
***********************  
  
Four days, almost a lifetime.  
  
How many more?  
  
A bad joke, gone wrong, now Squall was gone forever, and he...hated...her. That was the part that stung the most. Why did he say all that stuff, did he really feel that way, he couldn't have...could he?  
  
Rinoa lay in her bed, in the same state of half-dress that she had assumed as soon as She and Zell returned from Dollet three days back. The young woman couldn't bring herself to move, to get up, nothing more than to open another bottle from a hidden stash under the bed. Rinoa figured that Squall wouldn't approve, but he ahted her anyway, she would rationalize. Was she really that bad?  
  
The door opened and a bright, stabbing sunlight invaded the dark room. She had been avoiding the sun since Dollet, It reminded her of Him, of the day they promised each other to meet on that field of flowers...  
  
  
  
The shining sun on across the fields, the breeze that rolled across the flowers, bringing them the life they needed for their lilting dance. Blue skies and the sea, each the shade of her love for him. the sounds of the shore, the distant waves pounding the ocean's heartbeat in time with her own racing pulse. It was the moment she thought that they could last forever, through anything. Now a petty prank, and they fell apart.  
  
  
  
Rinoa rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling, and heaved a great sigh. Could it have been so great if it only took a prank to break them apart...  
  
"Rinoa? are you alright?" It was Zell's voice. When did he come in?  
  
"What?"  
  
"C'mon Rinoa, you gotta get outta here! Let's grab some hotdogs!...and you smell like a brewery."  
  
"Screw you" Zell was becoming Rinoa's rock, he visited often, brought her food, anything she wanted. 'I want to be a good freind, help you get through this, for your sake and his' he kept saying to her. He just wouldn't leave. Maybe that's what Rinoa needed, forget the handsome, strong and powerful leader type, what about the lapdog?   
  
"Whoa there!!! Where's the love?" He opened his arms wide, sarcastically gesturing for a hug. He got one...and a kiss.   
  
Rinoa pulled herself up to him, grabbed his face, and lowered it to hers. Their lips met with the grace that can only be achieved by a construction worker pouring cement into a hole, it was inelegant, but it was a human. Rinoa could taste the hotdogs, the humanity, and she craved it. If she had seen herself then, trying to passionately kiss her love's best freind, she would have killed herself. But she couldn't see anything. Instead she lay back on the bed, and pulled the willing man down on top of her.  
  
[I knew he wasn't just trying to be a good freind...]  
  
[Squall, I'm sorry...]  
  
*****************  
  
Elora had been staring at him for the last couple of minutes, and finally drew up the courage to talk to him. She didn't really like to talk to strangers at a bar, but this man just had some aura about him, some sort of mystique about him. There was the scar, the eyes, the strong shoulders and muscular back that were left bare by the muscle shirt he had on. It wasn't a long walk, but it seemed like it, and just as she got up to him, she felt almost like her leg was going to cramp...  
  
"H-Hi. I'm Elora, what's your name?" Brilliant line, She congratulated herself...off to a bad start.   
  
"Squall."  
  
  
  
"You're not from around her are you?"  
  
"..."  
  
"You know, I like the strong silent type..." she tried to sound seductive there, and rub up against him a bit. Elora was almost having fun pretending she was a slut, but this guy wasn't into it.   
  
"Wanna go somewhere more private...?"  
  
"No...go away."  
  
"Don't be like that."  
  
  
  
The man's response came in a flash. he grabbed her arm, and fixed a most hideous and icy stare directly into her eyes. It felt like he was burrowing himself deep into her soul, it was inhuman. She sought to find something compassionate in those eyes, but found nothing at all, no trace of any emotion, no soul, just emptiness. It was a window into a dark room...  
  
"Do not talk to me." The man emphasized every word, drilling it into her in the same manner that someone would teach a child how to cross a road properly.   
  
"Fine."   
  
Eldora wrote him off as an asshole or a basket case, and left the bar in a hurry.  
  
*******************  
  
The door opened for the second time that day, once again letting the viscous sun enter the room.  
  
"Rinoa, you should...HOLY SHIT!" 


	6. Feathers, Rain, and Promises

A Fitting end: Chapter 6 By: OneMoreSquall      

**Feathers, Rain, and Promises**

      Each train that rolled through timber was a reminder for Squall to go him, each a haunted empty scream that echoed through his mind like a lock opening to an empty house. Squall thought back, reminiscing about the first mission, walking back to the end of the dirty train, and waking the 'princess', his princess. 

      [ha...but soon I learned why those guys never wanted to wake her up]

      _They Day of the party, 8am, just another Saturday. Squall had to get the jump on some work, and rolled out of bed. Rinoa shifted...and started to scream. It was a five minute fit that could have brought weaker men to their knees, Squall, however, loved it all. He wasn't masochistic, but the way she would punch the pillow, stomp her feet on the end of the bed, it was perfect. That was the last time they would probably ever have sex, too. _

_      Their bodies intertwined, legs and arms and sheets in a frenzy of love and affection; they fit together like two pieces of a simple puzzle, perfectly. Rinoa held Squall tight, gripping his back and Squall lifted her off the bed. She had said she always loved the feeling of his back, the strength in it, the hardness that covered the softest heart she could know. Her heart. _

_      He pressed her against the wall, and her legs encircled his muscular torso, and she rested her head in that cradle where his neck met his shoulders. It was tailored perfectly for her. _

_      She raised her mouth to his ear, and whispered..._

*********

      "Rinoa!!! What are you doing!!??" Selphie screamed as her jaw dropped. "Squall's gone for a minute and now...How could you...you guys were...now..." The girl couldn't finish. It was over. Selphie always loved Rinoa and Squall together, a perfect happiness, almost a fairytale. 

      "Get out of here Bitch!" Zell screamed at her. What the fuck, Who the hell was she to just walk in here, and what the fuck was she saying.

      Rinoa rolled off Zell, and collapsed onto the floor. Her shoulders started to shake, and the tears began to flow again. 

      [Please don't hate me Squall...please try to love this...I'm so sorry.]

      Zell and Selphie's argued in the back ground, their screams adding up to a staccato gunfire of anger rattling in the background. It was sitting on top of a ringing that filled Rinoa's ears, and the sound like something important getting torn, something essential.

      "I can't believe you would take advantage of her like this! You stupid pig!" Selphie was ready to tear out her opponent's throat.

      "Don't I deserved to be loved!? Why else would she have thrown herself at me like that?" Zell screeched back.

      "She doesn't love you! She loves Squall, you were just convenient. She's hurting right now, can't you see that?"

      "Fuck Squall!" 

      It was that statement that broke her spirit entirely. From the depths of her soul, all that she had been avoiding for the last few days, the truths that she tried to hide from in the drink, Zell...it all welled up, her chest began to tighten up, her mind began to blank, to go from the plain white and fade into a darkness, like the depths of the timber forests. The ghosts of moments long gone came to her in that night, her memories, so fresh yet so distant, so cold. 

      _The figure dashing through the sorceress memorial to sweep me off to that field of flowers. That figure swooping across the sky to save me from falling. That figure on the balcony...Squall. _

Rinoa could feel her angel wings, silky white and pure, pulling her up from the floor, through the air to a place beyond the sky, to the blackness of space. She saw her world, laid out before her, but all she could do was hate it. Her hatred and sorrow filled her soul, pulling apart her very self. Her wings flattened, their beautiful feathers shedding off, floating slowly back to the planet below.  
      When the last feather fell, there was left only the leathery wings of a bat.

      The tear were coming faster now, accelerating, each drop thundering in her ears, for there was no noise in that void. Rinoa's vision was blurring, her gaze raking the ground so far below, searching to find her Squall...but she couldn't see, there was only emptiness down there, empty people, empty fields, hollow grounds. She curled up, hugging her knees to her chest, crying...alone. 

***********

      The rain was pouring now. Squall finally had to get up off the bench, and find a place to stay. Two days of living between the bar and a bench were not times well spent, but he knew that it was where he belonged, among the trash. There was no pile of dirt that was shitty enough, or reeked enough for him to deserve to lie in it. 

      [How could I...]

      looking around, Squall realized he didn't need to go anywhere, he deserved to be as uncomfortable as possible. All he needed was someone to piss on him. That was all needed. That...and Rinoa. The big man lay himself back down on the now-soaked bench, fully a foot to thin for him to ever be comfortable on, the only thing less comfortable that the muddy ground. He stared up into the raging sky, watching the rain as it fell. Then something remarkable happened...

      A single feather floated down from some angel.

      [Rinoa...I'm so sorry.]

************

_      She raised her mouth to his ear, and whispered..._

_      ...I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die; I'll be here for always, through thick and thin; I promise you everything I am is yours..._

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I hope you readers out here like this story. I'm having some fun writing it, please review, can't keep going on if nobody loves me. :( Ill try to make it happier too, but no promises (its exam time)


	7. No Justice to be Found, Only Emptiness a...

**A Fitting End : Chapter 7**

**By : OneMoreSquall**

**No Justice to be found, only emptiness and defeat**

Squall could hear the words repeating in the depths of his soul as he stared at that lonely feather. The perfection of its shape, the downy feeling that filled him with the sorrowful memories of Rinoa. Every moment he stared, the pain inside him grew worse and worse, threatening to engulf him with that horrible void from which he had been fleeing for the past week, that past eternity. 

The bench was no longer the proper place for him, he could not be around anything human, he looked about at the rainy scene around him, seeing in the faces of all the innocents of Timber only the face of his beloved Rinoa. In the eyes of every young woman, he found her lively stare; in the bodies of the older women, he saw her natural grace, everything that surrounded him was just another cruel reminder of what he had lost. 

"Fuck this! I can't fucking stand this anymore " His wretched cry tore across the quiet square. The people stared at him dumbstruck. He pulled out his gunblade, and looked at the point of it, the inviting end of the blade and the end of his life. Before him all eternity did stretch out, and all eternity of blackness and peace seemed so beautiful in a world filled with the only thing that he could never again have.

Death would be too good for me. I only deserve to suffer.

**************************

The defeated man slumped his shoulders and lay back on his bench, deflated and hollow.

In that place betwixt the earth and the air itself, Rinoa floated curled up, hugging her knees to her body as great sobs wracked her body. The whole place was more of a sensation than anywhere in particular, more of a existence born out of a need to be gone, gone to somewhere that no person, save maybe one, could ever find, or follow her to. The space shone with a dark glow that fit her disposition perfectly. In this lonely place even the light was black.

A stupid joke...now this. Please come find me Squall, I need you...I've always needed you.

All Rinoa could do to stave off the will to destroy herself was to go back to remember everything that he had ever said to her. She even remember cracks he made about her train car, the way he brushed her away in FH during the concert, the expression he wore as he ran towards her in the Sorceress Memorial, the relief and love in his eyes. 

That look gave Rinoa one brilliant idea...She began to gather her power, her essence, everything that made her a sorceress...

*******************

Garden was falling to pieces. Their commander was gone, Now Rinoa had just left, blowing a hole in the side of the dormitory, people were screaming, nobody was in charge. To add to the confusion, Zell and Selphie were openly battling each other in the halls, 'strange vision' sailing through the air with deadly accuracy, while Zell's ergheiz fists flashed around that dervish, seeking out the smaller woman's body. 

Zell had been hit a number of times, but seemed, apart from a deep gash on one arm, to have come out no worse for it. Selphie, on the other hand, was never the fighter that Zell was, and was beginning to tire. The battle had been raging on for nearly a half-hour, Startling already panicked students even more, and inciting so into hysterics. It was chaos from every side.

Selphie struck hard at the side of Zell's head, but he was too quick and ducked under the blow. He followed her hand, and grabbed it in his own, pulling her off balance, and threw her across his hip, sending her flying to the far side of the green training center hall. He leapt on her like a cat, readying to her to the end, but just as his fist started moving, a hand snatched his wrist and wrenched him to his feet. The short blonde man suddenly found himself dangling a half foot off the ground, staring directly into the green eyes of a much taller blonde man. 

"Seifer!"


	8. A Feather for a Sword

A Feather for a Sword  
  
A Fitting End Chapter 8  
  
By: OneMoreSquall   
  
Across the rolling plains of Balamb the terrible storm began to gather, growing from a cloud and the first speckles of an imminent rainstorm. The cloud bank swelled, goaded into enormity by some sort of otherworldly power bent on seemingly rampant destruction. Soon the darkness engulfed the entirety of the tiny island, ravaging sheets of rain wracked across every surface. Everything caught unaware scurried from the wrath of that instant storm.   
  
Within moments, the storm surrounded the world from Timber to Trabia, still expanding. It was as though the sublime power inherent in the very fabric of the world itself was crying out against some horrible sin that was tearing it apart piece by piece. The swirling nexus of that storm centered over the hapless Garden, and it was there that the harshest weather hit. Blood came pouring down with the rain, each drop sizzled as it hit the ground, each moment under that torrential onslaught was true horror...  
  
****************  
  
Zell snatched his hand back from the grip of his long time foe. He stepped back a moment, looking for the larger man to come after him with his gunblade...only, Zell quickly noted that Seifer's gunblade wasn't even in his hand.   
  
"I haven't come here to fight...I just came here to talk. I guess I'll have to save you guys too, geez." Seifer's voice was full of the arrogance that had always been there, and the grin that he wore spoke of the same cocksure attitude that they remembered him for  
  
  
  
"Get the fuck out of here right now..." Zell raised his gauntleted fists menacingly.  
  
"You can beat a little girl, but try taking me on and you won't have those hands for very long..." There was a momentary flash of anger in Seifer's green eyes, but they quickly softened as the tall man remembered himself. "Shit, I'm not doing that anymore. Arrest me if you want, but I don't thunk that it would be a good idea, considering what's going on right now." To show that he was serious, he stuck his hands out in front of him, offering them up to Zell, who didn't move a step to bind them. "Good, I'm glad you see it my way. You always did, as I remembered...ha ha ha."  
  
"Stay right where you are. Don't even twitch a muscle." Irvine stepped over a pile of rubble that had been part of the wall not an hour before.   
  
"Listen to him, he's got a gun." Quistis stepped out from behind him, holding her whip with two hands, ready to pounce.   
  
  
  
"This really isn't getting this place sorted out. Do you want my help or not?"  
  
"No." Quistis's reply was full of ice. It was almost as cold as her stare.  
  
Lightning crashed around them, quickly illuminating the entire scene into absolute brightness, then it was gone.   
  
"I just wanted to apologize. I know that there is no way any of you people could forgive me after what I've done to you, the suffering, the pain that I've caused. I just want to say sorry, for my sake."  
  
  
  
"No. I...We don't accept it. You led an army against us, you killed our students, your old peers. There are no words that could possibly even begin to make up for what you've done. I'm not going to let you come in here and let you think that a few fucking words would ever be enough to let you alleviate even a scrap of what I hope is the most horrid gnawing guilt. Leave, and never come back, you're dead to us."  
  
  
  
The silence in the room pervade even the steady pounding rain. It seeped into everything. the very darkness itself rang out with that silence, chilling the room and darkening further.   
  
  
  
Seifer cast his eyes downward, his face falling into the silent shadows.   
  
Then bent down, and touched one knee to the floor, then the other, and he sunk his face to the ground in tacit desperation for a single word that he could construe to be even a simple forgiveness.  
  
*****************  
  
The streets of timber burned as acid tears fell from the sky, burning everything. Squall watched apathetically as a man ran past his bench screaming, clutching his head as the rain burned his hair away. By the time he left Squall's vision the man was bald except for a wig of blood, tears and fingers. The man in black stared around at the chaos around him with nothing but dead eyes, and didn't notice as the rain hit his as good as dead flesh. It didn't burn.   
  
He raised his face to the rain, letting it slap his face. He pulled his overgrown hair back, letting the full force of the torrent pour across him. He still felt nothing. There was no sensation anywhere. He was nothing more than a block of existence, wasting space in a world already too crowded with those that mattered.   
  
"What have I become, My sweetest friend? Rinoa, look at me now." Squall pulled at his soaking shirt, imploring everything to look at him, as if every object in the world could somehow tell Rinoa what had happened to him. "Please Rinoa, forgive me for whatever the fuck I did that night. I love you only, and I will ever only love you. You are what I am! Without you, I'm not even here, I cease to be. You are my reason, my purpose, my soul. Life without you isn't life, it isn't death, it isn't anything." he was on his knees now, screaming into that midnight storm, praying with his heart soul and lips that Rinoa would give him some sort of a sign that she could hear.   
  
  
  
"You can have it all. You already had it all, I guess. It may be nothing to you, but please, take this back!" His voice was cracking, his body was shaking as it sat slumped in a dirty puddle by a lonely bench in an empty square of a tired city.   
  
Squall's eyes rolled forward and looked around him, for the first time in a few minutes he was able to survey the scene around him, the flooding streets the burning flags and empty stores. He looked at a newspaper as a slowly melted in a puddle, still floating forward, slinking and shrinking away from him like the rest of his life. He rolled onto his back, and spread his arms out wide in the drenched street. he closed his eyes and let his thoughts run.  
  
He thought of her.  
  
He remembered back through the last year that he had known her, how much she had changed from the immature scheming princess of the forest owls to the immature scheming sorceress of the SeeDs. He thought back to the nights that they had shared together, the joy that they had, the love. Everything about what they did, seem to roll back to him. He remembered walking to the back of the forest owl's train to wake her, the way she looked at the SeeD ball, the concern she had in her face when they had met under the stars at FH. Each memory stung him deeply, the only thing that could touch him in that place where he was. He remembered the look of the flowers in the field beside the orphanage when they had made their promise. The thought of that promise was like a burning rod in his gut, it twisted him up, made him feel sick, made him wish he was dead. He remembered the way that she had looked when she ran towards him at the sorceress memorial. He remembered the relief that he felt, the love he saw in her eyes, he remembered the tears rolling down her cheeks, the smell of her hair. He remembered the first time that he held he so tight that he would never let go. He remember the powerful feeling that they shared. It felt so much like...the storm.  
  
The smell of her hair, he breathed it in. It clung to every fibre of that storm, every drop of rain was like a tear of hers as they fell on his jacket. The colour of the sky was the midnight blue of her eyes. He looked into the sky, and the clouds themselves appeared to be Rinoa, huddled and alone, reaching out to existence, trying to find...him.   
  
***********  
  
She thought back to those moments before, the times that they were happy, and wished them back into existence. The world beneath her was being torn asunder, it groaned and cracked and snapped, but she wouldn't relent. The oceans could run dry for all she cared, as long as he came back to her. As long as he could pull her from the second stasis. As long as he could protect her from herself.   
  
************  
  
The eucatastrophic feeling in Squall's heart screamed out to her. He just had to let her know he was down here.   
  
He pulled Leonheart from its scabbard and kissed the lion on its blade, praying for it to do what it could. It had helped him though his early life. It was the symbol of what he was, and now it would be the instrument of what he would be.   
  
With a spin and a mighty swing, The great man hurled the flashing blade end over end, sending it sailing into the heavens. He prayed, screamed Rinoa's name, and hoped that Leonheart would never let him down.  
  
************  
  
Reality screamed as stormed around Rinoa's huddled form as she stretched out across time, compressing it with a power born only from the loss of love, the loss of a reason to exist.   
  
A flash caught her eye. A sword was sailing into her world, catching in the tough substance that made up the environment of the ethereal prison that held her. She raised one arm, and beckoned the sword over to her. It floated obediently across an indescribable distance, then landed in her lap.  
  
She felt the lion, running her fingers across the etched figure. She felt the faint kiss he had placed on it. The hope that he had thrown it with. She savoured the feeling, the relief that came into her soul. Time straightened out with a faint whisper. Rinoa stretched forth her hand, and created a single feather, and set it floating down to the ground, as a message for him.  
  
*************  
  
Squall looked up, and stared in amazement as the blackened sky slowly broke, letting shafts of light shine down on the ravaged land. He could feel something he hadn't felt in years, tears, as they ran down his cheeks. He put his hands to catch the drops.  
  
When he looked down, among his tears, he saw a single, perfect white feather, dropped from the downy wings of an angel. 


	9. Some Sort of Redemption

Some Sort of Redemption  
  
Fitting End chapter 9  
  
OneMoreSquall  
  
Squall watched with heavenly interest as the single feather sat beaming in his hand like some lost ray of sunshine. He clutched the feather tight to his chest and prayed over and over again that this wasn't some sort of joke, or some sort of dream or hallucination. He slowly stumbled to his feet and staggered his way to the bench, sobbing with the joy of a man who has, against all odds recovered his reason to exist. He slumped back hard against the once horrid, now happy place of imprisonment. The last vestiges of the storm were collapse and coalescing into a rainbow that stretched farther than the eye could ever hope to see. The world was bathed in the relaxed glow of surviving another tragedy.  
  
The only thing he had left to do was find her. But he knew where she would be...the place they promised to meet that afternoon that seemed so long ago. The big man got to his feet, and headed off to the trains, looking for the quickest way to Centra.   
  
*****************  
  
"Get up, you fucking pig. You're making the floor dirty." Quistis almost spat the last words out. Her hatred had shattered her normally beautiful face, marring it with is power. "Just get out. Now."  
  
"I think you should do what she says, man." Irvine was getting concerned, not just for Seifer, but what the beaten man might do if he was pushed to far. Irvine was a good shot, but only Squall could ever take down Seifer.   
  
"Please, just let me apologize. I...have no home anymore...nowhere to go...please let me stay..." The prostrate man voice was choked, and every defeated word came out like they burned.   
  
"No. I won't do it. I 


	10. Blissful Prison

Blissful Prison  
  
A Fitting End chp.10  
  
by: OneMoreSquall  
  
Brilliant dark hours passed for Seifer in the confines of the hastily made prison in the basement of the Garden. Every moment that he spent there he loved, he had found his home again.   
  
  
  
[They may not want me to be here, but here is where I want to be. Nobody will move me from here.] The best part about being locked in the basement was that nobody would ever see him. Rather, he would never have to ever face anyone of the people that he had hurt in the battles that they had fought. Every time he looked at one of the SeeDs who act as his jailors, he hated himself just a little bit more. He could never meet their gaze.   
  
Not a year ago he was the strongest student at Garden, indefatigable, arrogant. There was nobody that he was afraid, nobody in the world who could stare him down. A year ago, any of these people would be able to last under his own withering stare. Now he was reduced almost to tears at the sight of anyone in those familiar uniforms.   
  
He remembered back to the first time that he fought against Squall and the others. When he was brushed aside so easily, when he saw that Squall was hardly looking at him, he felt shame. He was living his dream, and he could hardly hack it. It was horrible. Not quite as horrible as his memories of the second fight. He had sent his army against the Garden, watched the battle sway back and forth, seeing the diminishing SeeD forces with cold uncaring eyes. It was incredible, everyone who had ever doubted his ability was now being beaten back by it. Then he saw the way that Squall led the Garden directly against him in a seemingly futile last attack, then watch as the very students of Garden poured out and slowly laid waste to his army.   
  
It was then that he knew that there was no way that he could ever beat Squall, ever beat Garden. All the time that he dreamed of having power, it had all been a lie. He had the real power in the beginning and he had thrown it away. The sorceress gave him empty power. The sorceress gave him nothing. He had everything in the beginning and thrown it away for nothing.   
  
When he faced Squall for a second time, all he wanted was to drop his gunblade and ask for forgiveness, to beg to be taken back into Garden. He wished for the days that he had spent wandering the halls, torturing students with absurd regulations, being the head honcho with Raijin and Fujin. Now Squall was the man that Seifer had always wanted to be; Squall had acceptance, he had power from those that trusted him, not fear; he had love. Love from the only woman he ever thought that he ever loved.   
  
Instead of allowing him this, his own arrogance, his fear, prevented him from doing it. He kept fighting with hollow strikes, and empty blocks. This time, he revelled in his quick defeat, he loved every moment of it. He wished the sorceress would strike him down for his failure, kill him, or abandon him as a man pitiable enough to be accepted again by the Garden.   
  
Now, all he had was hatred. The hatred for what he was, and what he had done, and what he had lost.   
  
"This is bullshit." Zell's voice pierced through Seifer's silent reverie. It was a piercing menace in that perfect place. It reminded him how he couldn't fit in, it hurt.  
  
"This is your fault you know." Selphie almost spat the words.  
  
Seifer didn't know who she meant my comment.  
  
"Die."  
  
****************  
  
"let them out, now" Squall looked serious, there was no way that the guards could disobey the commander himself. With Quistis, she had been the convenient one who knew what to do.   
  
In fact, most of the SeeDs were glad to see Squall back; there was no one that could keep the people in line like he could. He had power, he could individually beat any single one of them with out so much as a look in their direction. Yet at the same he had more power than that, what he had went farther than fear. They trusted him, with their lives, with their everything. There was nobody in the Garden that would purposefully disobey that man, no matter what the order. Whether to lay down their lives or never see the Garden again, they would listen and obey.   
  
  
  
"Zell, go to your room, I'll talk to you in a while. Selphie too. Don't try to run, it not bad. Seifer, stay here. Everyone else can go."  
  
Wordlessly they left, not a single one of their objections raised. Even if the man locked himself in a room with the only creature in the world with a chance to beat him, they would still listen. The guards escorted the other former prisoners from the room, and into the elevator.  
  
When he knew the elevator was long out of hearing, Squall turned to the taller man he faced, and asked:  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"I'm here for forgiveness; because this is my home. I need this place."  
  
"Are you sure that's the reason?"  
  
"Perfectly sure."  
  
"If you fuck this up I will kill you, you realize. I won't hold back anymore. You know what I'm capable, there won't be a scar on either of us next time." Squall words struck deep into the impenetrable soul of Seifer. They stung in ways unimaginable.  
  
"I won't; what do I have to do." Seifer could no longer contain his animosity, it lunged towards like a chained dog, only reined in at the last moment. It was an excruciating humiliation, it was everything Seifer wanted.  
  
"This opportunity will come once in your lifetime, do not mess it up. You'll take your last student year over. You will pass the SeeD exam, and you won't captain a team during it. This is what you need to do. If you fail, you will never step foot in this school again. This is all I can offer you; I can't get anyone to accept you, though this may be where you want to be, don't trust in many people to like you. You will be hated." The chilling finality in Squall's word frightened Seifer to his core, but he never let that show on the surface. All he did was nod and follow behind as Squall led him to the elevator to the main floor.  
  
**************  
  
"I can't believe that. What the fuck is going on?" What the fuck is he thinking? Has he gone stupid? Out of all the people in this world, why would you even think to forgive him?  
  
"I hate you, Squall, why are you doing this to me?"  
  
  
  
"I hope you don't mean that." Squall's voice was strong against the silence of the rest of the messy room. Quistis couldn't tell what he had heard. Her cheeks burned with her embarrassment.   
  
"Please ignore what I just said, I'm just stressed out." her reply was meek beyond words, it come out the way that she wanted it to.   
  
"It's fine. I'm back now, in one piece, I can handle the sorting out. Sorry for leaving, it must have been a problem for you." Everything he feared to say to her in one quick sentence, and suddenly, Squall felt much better, for no reason whatsoever.  
  
"I'm glad for that. It's been hell without you." The business like response was the only thing that would come to her in her confusion. Squall was the last person she would expect to see her at the door.   
  
Every time she looked at him, all she could think was that night that she had been in his room, playing out Rinoa's stupid little prank. Every time she heard those words again, a fresh spike was driven through her heart. It may have been a part in a play, but it was all too real for her. What if she had loved Squall, really loved Squall?   
  
And what if she loved Seifer, like she did when she was young? Could it still be true?  
  
"I hate this!" Quistis's plaintative reply, the only thing that she could possibly throw into the vastness of the wasteland that spread across her emotions. The one cry she had never used before, for fear of others hearing the weakness in it. 


	11. Darkened Hearts and Notebooks

Darkened Hearts and Notebooks A Fitting End chp.11 by: OneMoreSquall

It had taken a while, but finally, nearly a month and a half after the grand storm, which was already a legend, the Garden was repaired, and classes were beginning again. The whole incident, however, had damaged more than just the Garden itself. Quistis hadn't been herself since walking through the ruined hall of the training grounds and seeing that Seifer had returned. Every step of her life had become painful, trying her best to avoid the basement that he was living in, unlocked. But that was all about to end. After finding out that Squall had taken him back, proving himself to be a moron in the process, Squall told Quistis that the tall blonde was about to join all of her classes. Every fibre of her being hated Squall for doing that to her. She couldn't face him anymore, since he had told her what she was supposed to deal with now. It was ridiculous.

By the time that she got into the classroom, the whole class was already sitting down. They filled the first few rows of the second floor classroom, but they all gave a wide buffer between them and the new student who sat at the back of the class, exactly where he had before. It was the first time she saw Seifer since that day, but he looked different. He had taken off his duster and was sitting in a brand new navy blue student's uniform. It was a sight to see, Quistis noted. She even had to grudingly admit to herself, though she knew not why, that he was not all that bad looking, once cleaned up and stuffed into a suit. Had times been different, she might have looked on him with some pride that he had come this far from being the school bully and an all around asshole. "Class," Quistis began, excited already about the speech she got to give, "today we'll be welcoming a new student. You all know him already, he is the man who led the Galbadian army against us; however, don't hold this against him, if Squall thinks he is better now, he must be right? Try to just forget about it, forget about all the pain he's caused us, the loss. Don't begrudge him for those friends his lackeys killed that day. Let's all try our hardest to forgive this monster." Her voice positively dripped with sarcasm, she poured everyone ounce of her hatred in to trying to burn a hole through his chest with her words. Seifer just stared at her, his expression perfectly blank, his eyes steeled. He knew what she was trying to do, but he wouldn't allow her that pleasure. He wasn't in a situation to push anyone around, but he was given a chance, and he wasn't about to let her ruin it for him. "Shit Happens" was the only reaction that Seifer could muster in the face on her fury. There was nothing for him to do but look into that darkness, that unknowness that was good and forgiveness and hope that he might find something in there that he could call his own. With every passing second that the class stood frozen between the man at the back and the woman at the front, Seifer realized that the darkness was only growing, expanding into every corner of the hearts around him, preventing him from getting what he needed. Forgiveness was slipping farther away, and sliding closer to a place where Seifer himself wouldn't want to try to draw it from. If that happened, there could only be one simple solution to the problems that Seifer had been facing, a simple yet very much complete solution that he had thought about in the past. Yet whenever he would pull out his gunblade and run his hands along the blade of the monstrous thing, there was always something that would stay his hand. There was some sort of naggling doubt that lived in the back of his head, in some place he couldn't see, in some place that had been hiding since he was a kid. It was the basic little feeling that was happy when it got a hug from a mother, or looked into the eyes of one it loved, or was able to help out a stranger and make their life a little better. In short, Siefer had never been able to kill himself because there was that last little bit of humanity that lived within him, something that no GF would ever be able to steal from him, some piece of life that longed to find its place in the world. Yet between that place and its goal stood Quistis, like some incredible wall that a stood a giant at its gate to prevent outsiders from venturing into the tangled jungle within it. It would be hard to get into that place, and perhaps even maybe it wouldn't even be worth it to make it inside. Perhaps it would be trading the devil he knew, the hatred, the stares, for some worse devil, some more basic form of evil that would prey on the weak emotion of that little place.

But it might work out, he told himself again for the thousandth time, and hope was a powerful thing... If only she could stop staring. 


	12. A Friend in Need

Title : A Most Fitting End  
Author: OneMoreSquall  
Disclaimer: Square owns  
Note: enjoy  
Chapter 12: A Friend in Need

"Zell?"

"Sort of..."

"You sort of fucked Zell? I don't get it? I've heard of not fucking someone, and I've heard of actually fucking someone, but sort of fucking someone? I just don't really get it."

It was all that Squall could say. Rinoa had said that she had something to tell him, that there were things that had happened while he was in his own exile, things that she was not really all that proud of doing. He could handle it when she said that she had spent the first two or three days drinking. It was the thing that he had done while she was gone from his life. But to hear that she had just grabbed Zell. That was a little bit much.

"You have to understand that I don't really care at all for Zell, other than as a friend, he was just there, and I needed some way to...I don't to do something to get back at you for what you said to me..."

"I just wanted to tell you that I think you are a clingy bitch, and if I had the chance again, I would have left you frozen at the Sorceress Memorial. You've been toying with me ever since we met, and I hate you for it"

Every word came back to him like little daggers in his heart. Yet despite the desperate realization that he had said every word, there was some part of him that would still hate the girl that had tried to rip that world apart to get him back. There was still that little niggling doubt about that girl who he could not live for even an instant without. It was like a chasm had opened up between him and her. There was now some sort of 'but…' between him and the reason he had to live. It was like there was some price to pay for the air that he breathed. It was more than he could comprehend. If Rinoa only lived for him, then how could she sleep with the guy he trusted most?

How could Zell sleep with her? What reason could he have for that kind of betrayal? Suddenly that chasm that had grown between him and Rinoa had spread to a chasm between him and Zell. A crushing weight seemed to plant on his newly healed heart. Some evil more primal than he could know began to slip its rubbery hand about his heart. Some of the darkness that he had banished began to slouch back into his existence.

Rinoa could give him every word that she knew to try to convince him of what he said, but all of those words would only ever convince him of the doubt that he already knew. He stared into the darkness and wondered what doubt truly was…

There was nothing left that she could do to try to convince him that what she had done was a complete mistake. No way to tell him that the thing that she and Zell had done was a mistake, an accident born of the almost complete destruction of the life that she had built around Squall. The life that had existed in no part without him, that would not have anything at all without his constant presence. There was the small joke, it was going to be a harmless joke, a little prank that would, in her own scheming little mind, make Squall realize how much that he needed her and how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She wasn't hoping for the catastrophic consequences that had gone past, but instead she had hoped that maybe he would finally propose to her. She could remember sitting about and scheming with Selphie, the hopeful romantic, about the final outcome of the joke. The laughing that they had done, the purity of their intentions. And now, what was left? She had found Squall, again in that field of flowers in Centra, but he had come back different in some way than when he had left. Now that difference was growing, he had reclaimed some of that darkness that she had tried so hard for so long to dispel. The same barriers that she had worked so hard to overcome in the early parts of their relationship had been put again. The wall that he had created to prevent himself from being hurt again had been replaced, yet this time she was the reason for it. She was the cause of this new anguish. The thought itself was killing her. She held no feeling but absolute love for him. Love itself didn't seem to be the word for what she felt, it went beyond that. It was some celestial thing, more valuable than a world, and more fragile than a flower. She wanted to reach out to him through the veil that he had put up to guard himself against her, to clear herself in his eyes.

Could it ever happen? She questioned as she looked into his eyes, into his heart, into his soul. She had done it once, perhaps she could do it again.


	13. HOPE!

Title : A Most Fitting End  
Author: OneMoreSquall  
Disclaimer: Square owns  
Note: enjoy  
Chapter 13: HOPE!!!

It was hard every time he had to see, every time that he had to look her in the eyes and tell her that he was fine and that everything was okay, and see that she didn't believe him at all. Every cheery word he tried to say to her, reflected in her eyes the doubts that he had, the darkness that was sitting in a pit in his stomach. She became frightening, the time they spent together in hollow silent contemplation was difficult. Yet he couldn't get past it, no matter what. Every time he looked at Rinoa's smile, he saw Zell ravaging her. It really wasn't a pretty sight to see.

That might just be the scariest thing of all. The horrid images...Why can't this be easy to get over like anything else. I fogave Seifer so easily, and I believe in it, but Rinoa and Zell?

He hadn't even been able to face his friend since he heard. Not that he had seen much of Zell since the day he got back. Squall had to get Zell's side of the story of what had happened, and after that, gone.

No wonder. I'd be gone too.

The scarred man's only refuge had been work. Everything had been taken from him: Rinoa was nobody he could confide in; Zell was the other half of the problem; Seifer was a recovering maniac; Quistis hated him for the moment; Selphie couldn't keep a secret even if she didn't know it; and Irvine..was Irvine, totally useless.

One by one Squall tallied up the people that he knew, that he could see, everyone around him, and couldn't find a single person that he could talk to. He was alone again, as alone as he had ever been since his childhood. So work it was, and a vague hope that everything would become good and clean and happy again of its own accord. The commander spent more and more time in his office, with the mountains of paperwork that had piled up, plus all the problems that had been caused by the storm. Monsters ran amok across the galbadian continent, Esthar was under the control of an idiot, and who knows what was wrong with the rest of the world. SeeD was busy, and thankfully the big man had an excellent excuse to remain so himself.

And that's how he found himself in the company of the recovering maniac. Someone knocked on the door, he opened it, and found himself staring at the chest of the man who had tortured him for hours, led an army against his school, killed his people, and had tried on several occasions to kill him and everyone he cared about. He resisted the urge to close the door and return to his moping and piles of papers.

"What do you want? I'm very busy right now."

"You've been busy since you got back, and I'm guessing that you'll be busy until the world unfucks itself around here, which probably won't be soon, so I'm guessing that you can spare a few minutes."

"Don't pull my fucking chain, I could kill you or kick you out in a minute, whichever one would hurt you more." Squall's eyes flashed with anger, but the other man didn't bat an eye, just pushed passed him and threw himself onto the underused couch in the corner of the room.

" Who cares? Do what you like. I thought this would be easier. Just be repentant and everyone would eventually warm up, and all this shit in me would go away. Apparently it doesn't work like that. Most people avoid me, some people work hard to put make sure that I know how little I'm worth here, my teacher tries to fail me or humiliate me at any and one person actually threw a hot dog at me." With that he sighed and shrugged, making himself more comfortable on the couch.

"Rinoa slept with Zell after I took off. Beat that."

"The hotdog had ketchup and mustard on it, left a nasty stain." Seifer even showed him the spot on his jacket. " That shit is impossible to get out."

Squall had to crack a smile. It was always a competition with Seifer, and apparently misery was too. He also had to admit that this time, he was definitely beaten. At least he still got to talk to Rinoa, and there was always the chance for forgiveness, the chance for the doubts to leave.

"Another underhanded trick, like that last time we went 'trained' together. I still think that was a nasty cheapshot."

"I'll bet you used it a few times since, haven't you?"

"Against Ultimecia herself. Didn't work so well that time. She'd cast reflect."

"Figures."

"How do you put up with this, Seifer?" Squall had to ask. He'd always viewed the man sitting in the couch across from him as being weaker, more impulsive, less able to cope with other people; but here he could sit in the lion's den, with no friends or people to talk to, nothing but himself and the will to gain forgiveness.

"Hope, my fair commander, hope. I discovered there was a word for it a while back. I was lying face up in a gutter in Dollet, wearing a disguise to hide my identity, half drunk, half hating myself, when I thought I saw Raijin and Fujin walk by. I went looking for them, found them, they cleaned me up, and figured if they could accept me, then maybe Garden could. Hope was the feeling I felt when I saw them walk by, and the feeling I felt as I searched them out. Fujin told me what it was. 'HOPE'. Really scary like."

"Sounds nice."

"You got it too. Anyway, thanks for the chat. Let's do it again, or maybe just kick the shit outta each other like we used to."

"Yeah, maybe." Squall was already lost in thought again, mulling over hope.

Squall could remember clearly sitting on the bench with a feather in his hand, thinking that it could only have been from one person, and that had turned out for the best. Even in the last few minutes, he thought he wasn't in such a bad place, that he could at least talk to Rinoa, and maybe get over their problems. He also had friends he could talk to, hadn't he just made a list of those people and dumb reasons why he couldn't talk to them?

There was a light shining into his darkness, a ray of hope.

He sprinted off to find Rinoa, leaving the pile of paper untouched on his desk, and the door open.


End file.
